Raising Children Tips
Happy Little Taran Mehta
Parenting is certainly one of the most rewarding aspects of life, but it is also one that requires great skill and finesse to do successfully. With children lies the future of humanity and therefore, if we are able to raise great children, we are going to establish the foundation for a great future for man. Parenting, unfortunately does not come with an owner’s manual, and if we mess it up badly, we can’t trade in the ruined kids for new ones either , so it is important we give this role some serious thought and try our very best to do it right.
So what are the key parenting skills needed to raise extraordinary children? Before I go into these, I do want to make two important points. One, extraordinary probably means something quite different to me than it does to "society". By extraordinary, I mean someone who has discovered their true purpose and passion in life, is living that passion and is a blessing to the world. They may be in the Forbes 500 richest people or they might not, they might have 2 noble prizes or they might not, they might be President of the United States or they might not. Extraordinary means they are free of suffering, full of love and have found their true calling (Tao), everything else is secondary.
Second point I would like to make is that I get the feeling that today’s parents more skilled than we generally give them credit for. At least that is what I see here amongst my peers. I notice that parents are quite devoted to their children and are genuinely interested in giving them the best life possible. There is also some willingness to think outside the box and the realization that the spiritual aspect is the key to a happy and full life is also starting to dawn. Change certainly seems to be in the air and hopefully, if enough of us dads and moms develop the necessary skills, tomorrow is going to be much better than today.
Now onto the 4 key skills needed to be good parents.
4 Key Parenting Skills for Raising Great Children
Parenting Skill #1 – Observe
That’s right, just learn to observe the children without interfering. A parent’s vigilant and attentive eye is needed, but not the parents endless admonishments and instructions. There is a natural, healthy trajectory the child’s growth is going to take, and your biggest job is not to mess that up .
Let the child grow into who he/she is. Don’t constantly force upon them how they ought to be. Let them be who they are and let them have confidence and security in that. They certainly need you to watch over them, for safety and psychological security, but they don’t need to be molded into the image of a perfect child that many parents harbor.
Quantum physics now shows that simple observation changes reality, and I suspect in the future it will be shown that simple, quiet observation helps in the growth of a child. So learn to just be there for them, go with the flow and enjoy their company.
Parenting Skill #2 – Cheer Selectively
What do I mean by cheer selectively? I mean cheer the process without emphasizing the results. Recent research has shown that children who feel the burden of expectation, often simply rebel and drop the activity completely. What is being suggested here is rather profound. In fact it is what all the Enlightened Masters of the past have been trying to say. Don’t focus on the results, instead focus on just doing.
If the child can be encouraged to enjoy the process and not worry about the results, that is a great achievement for the parent. So for example, cheer the child when he plays the piano, regardless of whether or not he played the piece perfectly. If he is thus encouraged, he will play for the love of music, rather than for the rewards it bestows.
So be aware and develop this skill of cheering on the child for simply doing, instead of cheering and emphasizing the results.
Parenting Skill #3 – Be Open and Listen
This is along the lines of skill #1, but here you need to really be open to your child so you can have clear communication with him and understand his needs and interests. Only by being open and listening closely will you be able to determine what your child’s passions are and then it’s your job as a parent to nurture those interests.
Children are curious and creative by nature, and allowing this combination to flourish will help the child find his true calling in life. So you need to be patient and attentive when he asks a hundred and one questions, and you need to provide opportunities to him when you notice he has interests in certain areas. Doing this well is perhaps the greatest gift you can give your child as a parent.
Parenting Skill #4 – Set a High Example
This is the one skill that you cannot get away from I’m afraid. If you want the children to be extraordinary, in the way I described above, then you need to be extraordinary yourself as well. Otherwise your own neurosis and mediocrity will end up misleading and hampering the child. So you have to develop your own spiritual aspect, you have to become balanced, wise and loving yourself, then the children, who learn most by osmosis, will be uplifted by you.
If you yourself are confused and narrow, it is very likely you will influence your children to also be narrow and limited. So you need to raise the level of your consciousness and the depth and breath of your thinking, so you are being guided by high intelligence and are therefore responding to the challenges of parenting appropriately.
In other words, please start meditating and please start developing your Witnessing Consciousness.
In the following 2 articles I have discussed this more advanced aspect of parenting in greater detail, so please do read them as well:
If there are other parenting skills and tips you would like to share with us moms and dads, please feel free to do so in the comments section below.