How to Have Healthy Relationships
One of the benefits that is often cited by the students of my Free Online Meditation Classes and the Meditation Certification Program, is the significant improvements they see in their relationships as a result. To me this is no surprise, as the inner transformation that meditation bring about ends up affecting all aspects of one’s life, especially one’s relationships. So how exactly does meditation lead to healthier and happier relationships? Below is a list of 5 ways it helps.
How Meditation Helps Forge Healthy Relationships:
1. Reduces Anger and Irritation in Relationships:
One of the biggest and most destructive forces to a relationship’s health is ANGER. It can be the simmering type, just below the surface, that eats away at the relationship or it can be the volcanic type that erupts in a cascade of hurtful words, insults and even physical violence. Of course, no relationship is going to be completely immune to some irritation or anger, but certainly less the anger, better the relationship.
The root cause for anger is not getting what you want, or getting what you don’t want. So for example, getting angry at the husband for forgetting it’s your birthday, or getting angry at the wife for returning late from shopping, while leaving you to tend to the kids. So how can meditation help with this?
The great lesson meditation teaches is that no matter what the moment brings, it is ok. With this approach, difficult moments are seen as opportunities to practice composure and acceptance, and not blow one’s top. They are looked at as opportunities to watch and learn the ways of the ego and thus, go beyond the ego’s influence and control. When one approaches difficult and potentially upsetting situations with this attitude and meditative mind, then there is very little anger and the ensuing damage to the relationship is avoided.
Of course, this does not mean you don’t have a discussion with your partner about your grievances, it means you can do so with a calm, cool head instead of yelling and screaming.
2. Maintains Freshness and Spontaneity in Relationships:
As relationships age, the partners start to fall into patterns of repetitive behaviors and automatic reactionary responses. This is because couples form images of themselves and images of the other person, and then the “relationship” takes place between these two images. The real humans involved hardly encounter each other, and the “relationship” becomes stale, boring, unspontaneous and irritating.
With meditation, you learn to encounter the reality of “what is” and approach life without images. This keeps the relationship ever alive, as you are dealing with who your partner is at that moment, and as people are always changing and growing, you are then encountering a new person constantly. I have written about this topic more extensively in the following article:
3. Improves Relationship Communication:
The key to communication in relationships is honesty, openness and being a good listener, and these very qualities you will find overflowing in those who meditate regularly.
Meditation can in fact be defined as listening with great care. In meditation, one pays close attention to various objects of meditation, especially one’s thoughts and feelings. Such practice makes meditators excellent listeners, for that is what they have trained themselves to do. In addition, the mind’s of meditators are also more quiet and less dominated by the endless inner chatter, and this too helps them to be better listeners.
In addition to being great listeners, meditators invariably realize that honesty is an essential ingredient for spiritual progress. Without honesty one cannot face the ugly state one’s heart and mind is in, and without facing the ugliness, there is no chance of transformation. This honesty in meditation, translates to honesty in all things. For relationships, honesty can be quite difficult, as bitter truths and criticisms have to be said and heard. Fortunately meditations helps with openness, which then allows such open conversation to take place.
So with openness, honesty and the ability to be a good listener, communication in a relationship becomes possible and communication is the foundation of a close and healthy relationship.
4. Removes Fear from Relationships:
As one meditates, one starts to eradicate all the secondhand beliefs and superstitions one has gathered, and starts to see the world with their own eyes. As one’s meditation practice deepens, this leads to a certain quiet self-confidence and self-sufficiency. Seeing the Truth of non-duality and Divinity for oneself gives one great independence from the entanglements of society and the ego. It helps one stand alone.
This independence means that one’s relationships are not just based on dependency and attachments. Relationships that are bound together by need and dependency only, inevitably give rise to fear, jealousy, hatred and conflict, but those relationships between 2 independent people who actually enjoy and love each other, has a very different quality to it. This kind of relationship can really flourish and blossom into something strong and special.
5. Allows for Forgiveness and Compassion in Relationships:
Without a doubt meditation will make you a kinder, gentler and more compassionate person. This is because you will start to see the falseness of the egocentric reality and start to see the underlying Oneness of everything. This realization along with the deepening understanding that as humans we all face the same problems of suffering and discontent, brings forth great compassion for all.
In addition, meditation is the process of negating the false and as the false, the darkness lifts, goodness automatically starts to flower. Such goodness is of course the key to any good and healthy relationship. With meditation comes love and compassion, and relationships full of love are the truest relationships possible.
How to Have Good and Healthy Relationships Summary:
For a relationship to really reap the benefits that meditation brings, it is of course best if both partners meditate, but even if just one meditates, the relationship will gain immensely. Then seeing one partner as happier, calmer, more natural, loving, open and joyful, hopefully the other will be inspired and embrace meditation as well. This combination will allow for something really beautiful to then flourish.
So in the long list of the benefits of meditation, you can now add healthy, strong and heartfelt relationships.
If you are new to meditation and interested in starting your practice, below are a few good resources for you…
If you enjoy any of the articles on Mastery of Meditation and Yoga, please share them with your friends via Facebook, Twitter, E-mail, etc. I appreciate your support.