Several years ago I pretty much concluded that there was very little benefit in fighting with people. Since then I have tried to follow the simple rule, Don’t Fight With Anyone, and I can honestly say that it has been one of the best decisions I made. I originally decided upon this approach for my job and then, because of how well it worked out, I have carried it into all aspects of my life.
Now don’t get me wrong, I do have disagreements with others, and life certainly does find innovative ways to challenge this approach, but as best as I can, I simply refuse to get into long drawn conflicts with anybody. The benefits of not fighting with people are really remarkable. Here are just some of the ways it helps you and others.
Benefits of Peaceful Living:
- Peace, Peace and more Peace. Mental, physical and emotional peace for everyone.
- Prevents wastage of precious time and energy on negative thinking and negative emotions.
- Many more friends, translates into many more opportunities and not to mention, more laughter, joy and kinship.
- Less emphasis on ego and self-centered thinking helps promote spiritual growth, awareness and other mindedness.
- Much better health, as the toxic effects of hate, anger, bitterness are reduced or altogether eliminated from your system.
Over the years, in my own attempt to observe this rule, I found several techniques very helpful in making me choose the path of peace over conflict, and I would like to share these with you below, as you too might find them useful.
Techniques for Peaceful Living:
Don’t React: I can’t emphasize enough the importance of this approach. For example, when at work the worst thing to do is fire off an email when you are emotional and upset over something. Allow yourself to calm down first, take a walk come back and then respond.
Similarly, at the home front, stop reacting to situations without being thoughtful, listening carefully or giving yourself a chance to digest what the other is saying. Remember also that if a situation, comment or event is upsetting you, look at it as an opportunity to learn how to observe the mind and learn how thoughts play havoc with your emotions and feelings.
- Don’t Fear: Fights and conflicts have their roots in the simple pleasure/pain principle. I am using the broadest definition of pleasure/pain here and including psychological pleasures and pains as well, such as security, power, compliments, insults, etc.
Conflicts tend to occur when you are trying to manipulate life to create satisfying conditions and others are coming in the way of this. To combat this try to go with the flow more and remember that the future is a great big unknown. Your worst fears are only in your mind, and you don’t really know how life is going to turn out. Maybe that which you fear most as going to happen, is the best thing for you? Let go and see what happens. Here is my practical application of this approach: Embrace Reality and Let the Universe Fulfill Your Desires.
- Forgive: Undoubtedly if you want to avoid fights, you will have to forgive the trespasses of others. There is simply no way around this. That driver who cuts you off, the friend who forgets your birthday, the brother who wont share, etc, etc. Forgive, forgive, forgive, there is no other way. If you need inspiration to do this, read The Time I Met God, Good News & Bad News.
- Sacrifice: This is similar to practicing forgiveness, where you will simply have to at times carry the extra load which another cannot or will not do. Here is an article that expands on this idea: Kundalini Yoga Jesus Pose for Sacrifice.
- Meditate/Exercise/Diet: Very often irritation and the subsequent conflict takes place because of your physical condition and mood. You may simply have a headache, be hungry or tired and thus, be much more susceptible to anger. The best way to combat this is meditation, exercise and a healthy diet. This combo will really help boost your positive energy and help you maintain a good frame of mind, while at the same time helping you deal with stress effectively. Really it’s easy to fight, but only the very strong are able not to.
Now I know this is not an easy rule to live by and certainly there will be slip ups, but even just trying will be very beneficial to you. If you decide to challenge the opportunities to fight that inevitably arise in day to day life, you will learn a great deal about yourself and the ways of the ego. You will learn about your attachments, self-image, pleasures, identifications, fears, desires and much much more.
One final thought I want to share with you, is that once you adopt this approach, you will sometimes end up in the strange situation where you are in a fight, except only the other is fighting with you. Tell them to head over to my blog and give this article a read .