The Time I Met God – Good News & Bad News
Experience with Divinity
There is a room at my parent’s house which is a favorite place to crash for my friends and myself when we have burned too much of the midnight oil. This room used to be the car garage, which my folks have converted to a guest bedroom, to accommodate the endless stream of guests who flow through their house during the summer months. The reason this room is so good to sleep in is because it is pitch dark regardless of whether it is day or night. Having been a garage, the room has no windows and furthermore has a heavy air tight door, so not a ray of light can seep into the room. It is here in this room, with no outside light, that my inner light exploded one fateful night.
I had returned home to participate in a puja (prayer) and since the dark room was available the night before the prayers I happily commandeered it for myself. As had been my practice since my late teen years (and still till today), I lie on my back before sleeping in order to meditate. I can’t sleep on my back and this is my blessing. I can meditate for almost as long as I like in this posture and only very rarely do I drift off to sleep. So as always I was lying there, in the silent, deep darkness, watching my thoughts, when what would be one of the most extraordinary experience I ever had began to unfold.
As I lay there watching intently, a great suffering spontaneously began to emerge deep in my being. The suffering came forth from what seemed like every cell in my body. I did not react to this experience in any way, but simply remained a witness to it. In fact, from this point on all that transpired happened on its own without any willful action on my part. The suffering grew in intensity and poured out from deep within my system. This continued till finally it came to a crescendo and a great release took place as the suffering was expelled from my body in one great push. In this release it felt as if all the suffering in me had been purged and it was like going through a great catharsis, like being reborn anew.
Immediately following this catharsis a great benediction descended on me. There is a Sanskrit word called “dhanya” which is hard to translate, but, correctly captures what took place. The closest translation I can think of would be, “To Be Blessed”, to be touched by the Hand of God. This great blessing, grace, filled my consciousness and I became aware of the presence of the actuality of Divinity.
Whoever invented that word, divine, had experienced what I describe here. It is not like describing chocolate cake, the actuality of Divinity is simply awesomely divine. There are really no adjectives that would capture the magnificence of God and that is probably one reason those that encounter Divinity simply choose to not say anything about it. It is so incredible that trying to convey the magnitude of the experience with language seems like a gross injustice. In any case, with the awareness of the actuality of Divinity, the spontaneous realization in the inherent perfection of everything took place. Everything is absolutely and completely perfect, there was and is never ever a need to do anything ever. Everything is perfectly perfect!
So here is the good new and the bad news from having met God. Bad news first…
Bad News After Meeting God:
The realization that everything is perfect and no effort is needed also brought the realization that every effort, every thought, is a sin. Every effort (desire) makes us blind to the perfection of what is and every willful thought is stained by desire, making it is a sin. Every single thought stained by desire is an indication to God that his creation is incomplete and imperfect. For this absolute perfection to be encountered, every effort has to cease spontaneously. These were not intellectual conclusions I was arriving at, these were simply realizations resulting from being in the presence of blissful Divinity and Truth.
Good News After Meeting God:
The good news is that thankfully, Divinity was forgiving and forgiving and forgiving and I was crying and crying and crying. I have never cried so much and never felt so much bliss, compassion and love being poured onto me. The act of forgiving would not end, the bliss would not end, absolute awe of Divinity would not end and the tears which were just flowing like a river would not end. All was being automatically forgiven.
Conclusion After Meeting God:
I don’t know how long this went on, but, I noticed during this time there was hardly any mind at all. The mind was pushed far away, it had receded somewhere into the far backgrounds of consciousness from where… eventually… the damn thing started to return :-). The problem with mind is that you cannot fight it and win. Fighting with the mind is just more mind. Telling yourself to not have any more desires, is just another desire, another sin. Telling yourself to not make an effort, is indeed more effort, more delusion, more blindness. That is why the trap of Maya (illusion) and “mind projected reality” is so absolute. It is a fantastically designed trap and you shall not escape it easily. The only way to deal with this situation is to laugh about it, else, you will end up psychotic or suicidal. Embrace a sense of humor, it will be invaluable to you to deal with the great cosmic joke that all your suffering is caused by own effort to find happiness.
Finding God, Divinity, Truth is the only real purpose of life. Divinity is infinite love and infinite bliss. If there was one great lesson to learn from this experience, I would say that given he can forgive your billion sins even before you commit them, can’t you forgive others for their few transgressions against you? Forgive, forgive, forgive, let your divine nature start to shine through.
Beautiful. Thanks for sharing!
it dawned on me one day or rather it hit me like a thunder bolt that all the people I ever loved or would love and including myself would one day pass away and this thought haunted me and made me sad and worried . I could find no relief and I prayed God to help me understand what the truth about each of us is and randomly opened a page of the Bible and in essence it said We whom are sinners love our children and would do them no harm so should we not trust God,our heavenly father who is totally good to lead us all to Him ,Divine Love we were made in his image and likeness. Iwas full of relief, gratitude,love ,light ,joy and now !
Beautiful. That is exactly God, compassion, love, love, love. It is showers of Grace that cannot be described in words. A deeply and profound experience. Grace. Divinity. wow. God bless :)
Hello Anmol,
It’s true, no words can describe this. After my Divine “encounter” I was and still am, filled with sadness for the world out there. It’s hard to explain, maybe you’ll understand. Thankyou for sharing this :-)
Namaste
In life we should always ready to accept good news and bad news! And the way we handle them should have this what we called determination, determination in handling any situations knowing at the end you will surpass them.
I have experienced similar things once. I actually saw my body from outside as if I was flying. It was unnatural although very pleasant. Unfortunately I experienced this only once in my life and I don’t know why that happened. Or what I did. But I really enjoyed it.
You will not go to sleep if you concentrate, if you concentrate you will notice yourself leaving the body.
Meera,
What Anmol was trying to say is that he is unable to go to sleep on his back – so it is a perfect way for his mind to stay awake and witness his thoughts without the fear of falling asleep :)
Thank you for your comment.
All the best,
Trupti
Peace2010,
Thank you for sharing and for your positive comment.
It always takes guts to walk the path least treaded. But when you do – aahh… the sight is wondrous.
All the best on your journey.
Trupti
Thanx for sharing ur experience.
btw why did u say that I don’t sleep on my back, which is a blessing..!!
You see, before going to sleep , I too enjoy lying down on my back as I feel sweet movement on my spine. but I dont sleep on my back, because whenever I had as a young girl, I would find myself in the company of ghosts ….which was …ja scary as long it lasted….or I would feel asif somebody is sitting on my chest making it heavy. So, I would make it point to turn left or right before going to sleep which would come as soon I would tilt.
So, is it improper to sleep on one’s back ? Somebody once told me that those unreleased souls find our heart comforting….???
If u have time, kindly let me know why u said it is blessing that I do not sleep on my back…..!!
thanx and kind regards
meera.
Whoa Matt… :-)
Thank you for sharing your experiences with us.
All the best,
Trupti
I have actually been to the other side, and felt the chela of a Master, whom I believed to be Jesus Christ at the time, and still do, but I refer to him as God, because it was said God became a human, so that human’s may become God. So you’re probably wondering, how did I get to the other side, and I’m typing this right now. Well, that was what somebody was asking..how do you live in the world after, and deal with the drama. Well I am a 5th degree Black Belt, since I was 18, I was 1st degree Black Belt when I was 15. Anyways, Let’s get down to brass tax here, I went to Red Belt, normally, and they told me they wanted me to ware a Black Belt, not plain green, or any above, but I had to take a test from our highest Sensei, and basically, I walked into the Dojo over the period of the next 3 years, up to 5 degree’s of Black Belt, after taking this test, which was just for me, and nobody else out of every other school there were people training at, because they felt that I had the most potencial out of everybody. Needless to say, how did I reach the other side and get to be typing this now…I’ll tell you, because I can take a lie detector test and prove it, but also because I feel that you will believe me because these topic’s are no joke. Now anyway’s, After going from age 14 to 18, from no-belt to 5 different Black Belt’s (sorry if my time scale is confusing), basically about 4 years later at the age of I’d say, just barely almost 22, or just barely 22, (and I am 25 now, born in September), I had been practising biking for about a good 5 years, so give some time on top of the 4 years I was out of Martial Art’s For, (I learned Chumbara, a new way to teaching sword fighting, Karate, with some style of kickboxing carried on through my sensei that was a Black Belt level kickboxer) so I had been biking pretty much, well since just before I was out of karate, but after 4 more years, I did something one day. I always even if I knew it was safe to tread closer to the inside of the lane where there would be traffic comming from behind (odviously), that it was great to practice having my bike, it’s handle bars, and basically me, the bike being used as an extention of my body, ‘as close to the side as possible’ in case I ever really needed to use it. Well this idea came into my mind right after I road down a bit from where I lived, and turned the corner and saw a beautifully parked white van, nice and rounded smooth around the sides, with those big square-ish but rounded off lights, and the idea was, that I have practised so much, I knew how to time it so close, that this would be the first time I could get this close, and I knew it was closer then I could ever get, because I had never put all of my umff into it… .. . .. .so I gun it, and my helmet is hanging off the side of my ‘right’ bike handle, and I’m feelin it as I get closer, I want to start that curve to turn away, but I stop myself, just like I remember doing years late when I was pretty much not gunning it, but getting comfortably close enough to pass. So there I am, I’m starting to feel more of this feeling, to start turning, and I feel my chee energy and I’m using the energy from the thought, which I followed (going through with this) pretty much as soon as I got it, to use all of the energy I could from this movement towards a parked Van on a Bike, in order to pass at my highest speed, while holding my material body and bike, at the last second in a furious move, out of the way and past…so here is the bottom line why I did it (and no I haven’t got to the good part yet) I figured if I passed, I would do what I had done so many times in the past, I would get a good feeling to feel everytime I wanted to pass something, that I could use as a skill to gradually reach another peek, ok? But little did I know….this would be the first and only time I would need to learn this ‘skill’…the moment I sent out my umff I felt still, but I still felt the umff, but it was mufflered (workin with muffler now), I was all of the sudden gazing and slightly paralized, inside of a deep blue tunnel with swirlling smoke, and I thought…news paper stuck in the cracks, which I am now speculating on (since I think over a year after) wasn’t newspaper, it was plyable, foldable mirrors (smoke and mirrors) but that wasn’t all….the smoke and ‘mirrors’ were all spinning, and I was surrounded, and from my right, I felt and saw a great burst of the chela of our one true master, God, and he surrounded me with light, and I was moving so slow, I was paralyzed in a way that I had barely any movement at all, and no words were spoke, but after the light came over me, I saw him, a Man, with slightly long hair down close to the shoulders, with hands together praying, and walking in a line, and I looked around after I realized that there was a person there, and yes, light everywhere, flashing violet and white, and he was wearing a nice looking robe which had a violet(purple) cross from neck to toes on his robe, and shoulder to shoulder, while praying, and with no words, I tried moving my bike’s handle bars, which yes, I was still on, all of life except light and this man, Jesus Christ, God, and at first glance he had a stirn look, and I noticed his robe was also made with some kind’ve shoulder pads, but while I caught his first gaze that sent me a sort’ve stirness, I was emcombered by exctacey like he was telling me, everything is alright, but yes, I am very strong (the strongest), and I noticed a smile, and so yes, after looking around and while yes imagining all light is hard, imagin that every line of every cement sidewalk and house angle all the sudden is vibrating light…but anyways, I believe now that I saw light as it is, without Time, because after I tried moving my handle bars left, because I figured that was the way I was going to miss the van, and I felt an emotion come over me, if I didn’t move my handle bars, I was going to loose a lot of time, and my family would be hurt because of me, not because of him, but because I could make the desision myself, and so, I desided to try, even feeling paralyzed, to move my handlebars left, anyways, it was like moving a cement block, (oh ya this thought just crossed my mind, yes I ‘was’ staying standing up on my bike without having to balance, woa! haha) and I had to give it more strength, but I got those handle-bars over about 1/4 of an inche, and without one word spoken the entire time, and having to turn down the feeling of utter complete exctacy and enlightenment, like seriously a constant stream of real power and I don’t use and or mean that word lightly this time, ‘power’ because that is what it was but of utter and complete goodness constantly flowing like an endless sea of energy that I could stay in, I wanted to go back, and so yes, handle bars move, I did move them, and with one last goodbye look, and seeing his smile, and dedication to the ‘moment’, I was shot back into the tunnel and just instantly surrounded by the blue smoke and white light in the middle, which I thought God was in the center of before, but I believe now that, ‘that man was and is God’ I actually felt for a little instant (like I have before, avoiding near accidents) the pain that I would’ve felt if I hit the van, which I avoided, but I still had to feel, somewhere close to the very center of my brain, if anything towards the front of my head, definitly centered though, and I looked to my left and I could actually see, time speeding back up…and here I shall now describe to you what it is like…you actually notice that before you could hear the sound of the tunnel, but it faded (the sound) and it got very very…silent like…and if you look at lines like these -_–_-_-_ but imagin a lot of row’s of them, I looked left, sitting on my bike, and I swear to God (I shit you not) they were white and blue, lines, building the color’s by shooting level like a row, not a colum, beside me while I’m looking left (out of my periferal vision of course, because when I got shot back into the tunnel, I centered my vision and tried to go perfectly straight, like I was in a jet, about to get shot off by the carrier.) blue and white lines, and it was like the opposite of a sound effect for a climax, you want it to get loud at the climax so everybody can hear, for me it got silent, and I will remember that part of it, very deep. Anyways, the road formed, after I was going through all of these lines of light, which probably were everywhere now that I remember, but I was focused on the left for some reason, and that is where I first gazed sight on a very beautiful sight, life! Reality! And my helmet on my handlebar, swung perfectly (oh and this went from stand still to very fast by the way, all while the sound dimmed and went very quiet from a large amount of twirlling smoke and stuff sound, to not hearing my bike helmet connect at all, just hear the guy who was behind me in another van, similar, and then one more feeling came over me which I could not deny going with, which was…don’t move a muscle, and this was also something that was significant. My handlebar on the right, was skimming the van so close, and I was going so fast, and my helmet missed so barely, from just hangin’ on that handlebar, I thought stay still, if I move, my handlebar will hit, if I move ‘at all’ and I have said to myself now since then, that basically it was something you could call, ‘surviving re-entry’ which is actually the trick to surviving this without a scratch. So you have your answer already how do you do it, and deal with the drama, you have to practice YAME a lot in karate, and when you meet god after almost nailing a van, as close as you could possibly get, you YAME, but this is what I was going to say was the whole thing about that thought that came over me, to not move, not just the helmet I was concerned about that missed the back of the van perfectly, but stopping myself from moving, this was the coolist…..I felt that tick, that we all feel, when we can’t hold in our ‘electricity’ you know what I mean, when you have to flintch or jolt, even when practising yame? You probably know for sure now what I”m talking about, anyways, because I did the command yame, when I went to flintch, I could feel myself, unable to control it, and I was about to flintch, but I helf my yame, and this amazing awesome feeling came over me, and it kept me perfectly still from that flintch. It was amazing, it was like, I avoided it completely that one thing, and the most awesomest ending possible, I was still having to hold still, even after I ‘had help’ holding that yame, and I felt like I could move after that if I wanted to, but I did feel like I would be very angry at myself if I did, and maybe not just me, and of course I held it and instead of actually the thought of moving, after being given a super yame, (just thought up that right now), I was mezmerized by my helmet, it was like I was now talking to myself and saying…..omg I think it’s going to make it, but I can feel it, it is so close, it’s like, and I watched my helmet after making one left swing, like butter missing the back of the van, like butter my handlebar scraping the side of the van…like the thiniest layer possible, my helmet came on the down slide going right towards this parked van (no the door didn’t open hahaHa) it swung down, and like total butter, it went right over the front of that van and I couldn’t feel anything touch, it just felt like I was on a rollercoaster, and I had to yame, but I could move, but I look back and go, that is how you have to come back from death, by the closest possible way. Anyways, send me a line, we can chat online, I can answer your questions, fill you in on details and what not. After I came out of that, and realized time was haulted, and continued where I was after like at least 15, at most 19 seconds later, I was like…what did the guy, because right after that helmet crossed, and I was clear right after the van behind me passed me, but he had the gas down, and I felt a very angry pissed off aura from him, and that is the only thing I consider the biggest mystery for me…why did I feel like he was angry (this driver)….what did they see? (I’m guessing it was a guy) But was he just in doubt and saw me make it, odviously time didn’t slow down and literally seem to stop for everybody, and if not which is the only answer to that question for me, what could he have seen that would’ve made him angry? But anyways…I was like woa…and I can no longer be intimidated by anything, because I know we are all protected from death at the minute point where we think we will hit and feel pain. If we were meant to die, we will be saved from a lot of pain, and be met with pure extacey, but I came back for my family, and my friends, because I did feel a great loss and when I desided to move my bike by my grip on the handlebars, that pain went away. But basically, I didn’t just…keep that game face on when I went back into the tunnel and kept thinking straight forward, after feeling what it was like to skin that van that fast, from so slow and witnessing it all, no I didn’t just keep riding with a smirk on my face for acting all dare devilish…I thought I could, I always did when something happened, you never show weakness, you always show people, that, that is what you meant to do, even though you know they think it’s stupid and dumb, it really isn’t 100% experienced until it’s experienced, but it is your choice before hand, and I always knew from every close call, what I could do, and it was something like what I was thinking just before hand, and I was thinkin…can I do this? Yes, and I did it without guessing…I knew I could do this, but I thought it would just be a good way of showing somebody how to get really close to a parked vehilcle, thats nice and shaped so that I can send myself around it in a way that at first I am not turning away, and I get so close, so fast, and just bam, I pull left but ground myself as well…well, I didn’t expect to extend my life an extra 15 seconds. And I slowed down on my bike, I went woa…and I went home, slower then usual, and I went into my bachelor’s suit and I really was in awe, and of course, happy like one whose article I read just ealier, in his garage, he felt forgivness and became teary eyed, and felt happiness. But ya, after that, I didn’t ride around stuff so close, it was like somebody hit the reset button, I have herd that people who attain enlightenment, have some permanant change made to their brain…I can believe that, because I know it happens when you use a part of your brain more then you do normally, it uses those stem cells to repair old stuff, and you wire yourself in your brain more, if you are a jogger, where your brain processes jogging…but just remember, all you gotta do…is think of a million chimes of silved in the smallest highest pitches, a million ones, shimmering like your playing these chimes like a harp, and what does light look like, when it is slowed down enough to see it? It shimmers and makes a noise…like what again? Say that again…chimes….Please feel free to ask me any unanswered questions, I bet you I could answer a lot of them.
Matthew Micheal B.
For anyone reading this thread who would perhaps refer to themselves as a “Casual Observer”, and who is not certain whether to believe the claims being made here by Anmol and others, I will now assure you that his claims of being Spiritually Enlightened are in my estimation by all means accurate.
*(For those of you who might not trust this statement, please note that I am not a friend of Anmol’s, and I have never met him, spoken to him or ever had any sort or kind of communication with him even on one occasion in my entire life).
I can make this statement because I myself at a specific time in my life decided to drop my material pursuits entirely and devote myself strictly to daily Yoga and Meditation practice.
I did this because after studying the Bhagavad Gita and The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali in a literally religious fashion for many years, I came to the conclusion that I would not depart this life without becoming fully Spiritually Enlightened, and so I set myself to it without caring what fate befell me either in the process or afterward.
My profession is music, and for me having a deep and true understanding of what was really going on behind the veil of this world was imperative.
You might even say that to a certain degree there may have even been a financial incentive toward my achieving Spiritual Enlightenment amongst many other extremely powerful reasons!
My over-riding intent however was to get to the bottom of whether or not the soul existed and thus to prove to myself once and for all the existence of God, as although I have always been favorable toward religion in general, (I was raised as a Christian Scientist), still, reading a book that told me of God’s existence simply was not anywhere near enough to get me to fully believe it, as in my heart I maintained the heart of the truly dedicated skeptic, even in the face of my serious devotional leanings.
My Enlightenment has come and is still coming in stages, but the way it was initially achieved was basically through one of the exact methods taught by Anmol on this very website (essentially a Buddhist Meditation technique by the way).
Incidentally, I have only first ever seen this website on this very day as I write this message to you all.
It is the “Letting Go” Meditation.
You see, now that I have been practicing this technique for quite some time, I now realize that this world is only a mass conglomeration of externalized thought energy, mostly created by God of course, but we exist in whatever reality that we either are most attracted to be in, or that we are required to be in due to the nature of our thought processes.
For example, the wealthy businessman feels deeply that he is here on earth to enjoy life to the fullest with all of the accommodations that a life of extreme luxury can afford, and as such he has done everything within his power to achieve a state of wealth-conscious reality that only the results of his good karma will allow him to experience.
Out of ignorance, a criminal conversely thinks in a similar fashion, with the exception of the good Karma.
The criminal does not care how he achieves his goals, even if he has to do it at the expense of the lives of others, and thus, he can only enjoy this life while the Law is in hot pursuit of him.
His ultimate end is either in a jail cell or a morgue as a result of his ignoring the facts of the realities of this kind of lifestyle, and God’s Divine Laws work on everyone equally.
I must now state however that while on the one hand, becoming truly and factually Enlightened Spiritually is most certainly achievable in this lifetime, the fact remains that just because one may be Enlightened does not automatically qualify one for Sainthood.
It is for this very reason that Patanjali in his Yoga Sutras states the extremely important need for the Sadhaka or seeker to first learn and practice the Yamas and the NiYamas or the behaviours to adopt and those to avoid entirely as an ongoing requirement for the rest of one’s “Career” as a Yoga practitioner.
The results of not following his advice on this point can be devastating to both the Sadhaka and the universe at large, which is in fact why to this day I still maintain that while on the one hand that book is a great boon for mankind, on the other it can be very dangerous in the hands of the wrong person.
In any case, there is an interesting and very intelligent question posed by someone above in this thread who asks:
“How does one live and act in the world after attaining the Enlightened state”?
This question is excellent in my estimation and thus is worth answering, and my answer to this is essentially no different than what Lord Krishna states in the Bhagavad Gita, which is essentially that one should simply act in the best interests of the world without being attached to the outcome or fruits of one’s activities.
Now, I will say that while you should in fact try this at home, it is nowhere near anything that could be described as easy to do!
This is why the nature of real Spiritual practice is not something that you can just casually try out and drop after a while, no, it must become a very deep commitment that you make to both yourself and the world, for both the benefit of others, and for your own Spiritual salvation, as well as to set an example for all others to follow.
Make no mistake about it, this life ends in death folks.
Do not leave this world without realizing your true Spiritual self and God.
Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti.
Peace2010
Dear Anmol,
I am glad you had directed me to this blog of yours. Alas i don’t feel like an alien.I’m glad that there are others who have experienced similar powerful divine energy through yoga and meditation.
I want to share my experience here with the community, at lest i’m sure you would not think me crazy.
Not long ago maybe a month after practising yoga, i have been experiencing energy within me and one very significant one was when… one night i awoke to a very painful feeling in my lower abdomen..the pain was so unbearable i could barely breath and it ended with an explosion and thankfully i lived through it. I awoke to find myself very much alive.
Since that day ..i have been seeing many odd symbols and find myself dreaming of actually being lifted out of my body and sometimes i experience this after meditating.
Lately i feel my feeling are more intense and that i have vivid dreams followed by sharp pain in my abdomen. This pain has been plaguing me for some time and usually at the same part of my body.
I have this feeling that this recurrent pain maybe a bad or negative energy in my being but i am unable to dispel or remove it from my being.
I want to share a very vivid dream i had early this morning….
I dream that i was in an apartment with people..i saw a black dog..it was rushing to the door and seems in a hurry to go out and i’m assuming he needed to pee so i was about to help it open the door but this very smart dog unlocked the door himself i was very impressed…but it was an apartment and it had to get in a lift to get down so i told the maid in the house to go help the dog to get in the lift to go down..as i was in the midst of this dream ..i suddenly experienced a very sharp pain in my lower abdomen….i prayed that the it would be released by chanting an anjanaye manthara that i know..the pain slowly subsided and i awoke feeling very weak and drained.
I want ti know whether this dream i had is related to the pain and whether it has left my being for good.
I have this pain quiet often even sometime while i’m meditating.
Can you tell me what i’m experiencing and the meaning or recommend a site where i can use to interpret this dreams i have..usually every nite.
thanks and regards. Will appreciate any thoughts and comments that you may have.
Shar Nathan