How to Make a Baby the Right Way- With Illustrations!
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How to Make a Baby the Right Way – Proper Diet & Nutrition
The Right Way to Make a Baby
Tantra Series: Spirituality and Sex
As many of my friends and family members can attest to, I had my parents quite nervous about whether or not I would ever get married and have a family. No one was quite sure when I would run off to the Himalayas and I am sure there was some pretty heavy betting going on, with high odds that I was going to do just that. Well, I am glad I didn’t run off, as there was never any need to and I am glad I decided to get married and make babies :-).
Now, my wife probably lost quite a bit of dough in the betting circles, when I completely floored her by proposing. That is a good story in itself, but, lets move ahead. She knew that I was quite unconcerned with social norms, but, having children out of wedlock just meant a whole mess of legal headaches. So, since we thought children were a good idea, marriage followed next. Now came the fun part. Little did we know what we were in for when we decided to ask, “What is the right way to make babies?”
Given we come from the culture that gave us the Kama Sutra, it was no surprise that the answer to our question arrived directly from ancient Hindu Scriptures, the Vedas. They came in the form of Garbhaadhaan Sanskar, or the Sacrament of Conception, which is part of the Sanskar Vidhi (which outlines the 16 milestones in human life). Being that we are always up for something interesting we decided why not. It involves spirituality, love and sex… can’t go wrong with that… and oh yeah, something about making babies too :-).
I can’t possibly provide the full details of this complex Sacrament in this article, but, I do want to give you a flavor for what it’s like and what it entails in case you and your partner are thinking about having some little ones and also asking the dangerous question, “What is the right way to make babies?”
The main reason for following this ritual is not just to have children, but, to have children that are outstanding. Here are the highlights of this process.
1. Preparation:
The Garbhaadhaan Sanskar acknowledges the role of both heredity and environment in the creation of a human being. Since the conception has to do with the sperm and the ova, the first step is a process of strengthening and purification. Guys this means no sex or wastage of semen for at least 40 days minimum. Need to get those swimmers in tip top shape and need to build your virility and vitality. In addition, the purification also calls for a pure sattvic diet and relaxed, happy, spiritual life style. So no drinking and excessive late night partying during this time. This goes for the ladies as well in order to prepare her body for a healthy pregnancy.
2. Havan (Prayers):
This was an adventure. On any day we decided to have sex to try to conceive, it is required to do a Yagna (a fire ceremony). The Havan is meant to be done before sunset and it incorporates a series of Shlokas (Mantras or Chants). These mantras are essentially praising the wife (helps to set the mood ;-), saluting natural forces, asking for a healthy pregnancy and requesting a child who would be extraordinary.
Since the last part is the most important let me give some details regarding that. Essentially the Mantras request that the child born should be…
- Exceptional.
- Live well for a 100 years (which is a favorite Hindu blessing and even part of Indian Happy Birthday Songs).
- Be protected from the heavens, cosmos and earth.
- See God in everything.
- Be able to comprehend the True Nature of Reality.
The Havan had to be done. Now all married couples know that there are days you may not want to sing the praises of your partner, but, if you were planning to make a baby that night, you were chanting, “Oh Lady, your heart is like the Moon in heavens…”, as she was trying her best to hold you in high regard and respect. The other challenge with the required Havan was that there were days when we were racing against the sunset to get it done. I have to confess, that on more than one occasion we did convince ourselves that our abridged version of the ritual was just as effective :-P.
3. When To Have Sex!
Yes the Sacrament guides you on which days to have sex. Moreover, it lays out which days to have sex if you want to conceive a male child and which day to have sex if you want to conceive a female child. The texts do not guarantee this result, but, they do indicate that if adhered to, it gives you a good chance to get what you want. Here are the magic numbers…
Male Child: Days 6, 8, 10, 12, 14 & 16 from commencement of menstruation.
Female Child: Days 5, 7, 9, & 15 from commencement of menstruation.
No other days are good for conception and there are a few black out days as well depending on the phase of the moon.
Now let me tell you guys, sure it sounds great having a guarantee of getting some action on a particular night. After all, we did the Havan and chanted “Oh Lady, your heart is like the Moon in the Heavens…”, but, as the days go on and you get to day 16, after not conceiving during the previous 2 menstrual cycles… sleep seems like an awfully good idea! You tend to lovingly look at each other and say…. Ummm…. Goodnight Sweetheart and… a perfectly good Havan goes wasted.
Summary:
So we followed all the requirements of this Sanskar trying for a male child and to tell you the truth, I am glad we did. Here is how number 1 turned out. His name is Shivum. Of course he needed company and my wife, Trupti, wanted him to have a brother. So yes it was back to more chanting about her and the Moon… and along came Taran. Here are the results of all that hard work… which we are very, very happy with!
In the next part of this series we will go into the details of Diet and Nutrition for Making a Great Baby.
SHIVUM
TRUPTI (TARAN BEFORE :-), SHIVUM & ANMOL
TARAN AFTER
Radhika,
The best and sure way to get these mantras (due to the quantity and the wordings) is to purchase a copy of the Sanskar Vidhi by Swami Dayananda Saraswati.
Happy conception :-)
Trupti
Hi Anmol,
I’ve posted once before asking for the mantras that need to be recited during the havan prior to conceiving.
Could you please post a copy of the the mantras and the procedures/items required? I’m happy to purchase the literature if available. Reply at your earliest convenience.
Anxiously waiting,
Radhika
Dear Anmol,
I have been reading articles and blogs on your website for some time now and first I want to thank you for your seva (service). Your e-learning concept and what you have done is really wonderful: a work of art in itself. I am also impressed by your efforts to keep this a non-commercial venture, and your set up of the yatha-shakti donation to your Mastery of Meditation program is also a great idea. I hesitated to write a comment earlier because at some level words- however positive- seem quite superfluous. Nevertheless, accepting that for now we live in this dual world :), I think there is some point in emphasizing the positive aspects, especially when I see the occasional negative comment on your efforts. I know you are probably beyond being fazed by the occasional heckler, but this is just to let you know that you are appreciated by many others.
Also I did want to share some experiences on breath awareness and get your opinion on the same. It seems to me that some (maybe all?) of our emotions are deeply tied to breath: for instance, I feel that fear is rooted at the outer limit of the bahya kumbhaka (right at the moment when one is about to inhale there is an instant where one can experience the fear of asphyxiation), and similarly the experience of contentment or santosha can accompany a deep puraka. So presumably breath awareness and control leads to increasing control of what we normally think of as “involuntary” needs (thirst, hunger, sexual drive, etc). It is now a little clearer to me why people go on fasts and nirjala penance around Maha Shivratri for instance- another effort to exercise control over these involuntary responses and trigger a state that enables greater self-awareness. Would you mind sharing your thoughts on this? How far into this realm have you ventured and what is your advice for others?
I feel these “exercises” are not an end in themselves, but a ‘trigger’ to a different state; and presumably the most suitable ‘trigger’ for each person is different. Is this why it is useful to find a personal guru? If one does not have this fortune, is there any guidance to find out this trigger on one’s own? Thanks again for your efforts, and dedication to spreading the ancient wisdom.
Shankar.
Dear Marja,
Not sure what I am fooling them to do, but I do appreciate you taking some time to share the thoughts that have arisen in your infinite nature.
Some of stories are can be difficult to understand due to the subtle and absolute Truths they are pointing to, so I suggest taking your time and reflecting on them.
God Bless You.
All Good Wishes,
Anmol
You are full of shit. I do not believe that you can fool people with your articles. The material which you are copying from other authors is good, but your own articles/stories are so immature that after reading them I was going to puke.
Sam,
Congratulations on your recent marriage. The following link should help.
Baby Ayurvedic Diet\Nutrition
All the best,
Trupti
Yet another article that totally floored me :-) I love your sense of humor Anmol.
Again not sure if it is covered elsewhere on your website, but it would great if you can write an article on the self care regimen, how to get and maintain a healthy body for a woman(/couple) especially, if she (/they) are planning to have children after 30.
We recently got married and not in rush to make babies :-), yet concerned as one of the doctors told us that it is after 30, the quality of the embryo goes down. (I think he meant that the probability of having good chromosomes from the mother and the father transferred to the baby goes down).
Hello Anmol,
Can you please provide us with the source/literature (i.e. Mantras, etc).
I would like to read about this further.
Thanks.
hello anmol,
Greetings of love and light!
very intrestting article.
Kindly guide in detail as to what mantra to be chanted in garbhdharan sanskar and at what time. we have a beautiful daughter and plan to get a son now. I hope and pray that the theory of garbhdharan sanskar works for us as it did for you and trupti. Pls guide. thanks and god bless.
Thank you for the information! Beautiful children :)
Dear Anmol,
I just happened to go throught this site and found it very interesting. I have been married for the past 5 years and have been desperately trying to conceive.
We had a late marriage I was 35 when I got married and my hubby was 40 . Is there still chance for me to
bear a healthy baby. Gender really doesnt matter to us
whether its a boy or girl. A healthly bony baby is what we are craving for. Tried all tests, doctors and everthing seems to be fine. Wonder why things simply dont happen. I have also started yoga. Tutor comes home and teaches me some exercises but are there any specific exercises to conceive. Pls help.
Thanks and regards,
Sangeeta Ramesh
i am i love this website hahahahahaha it just doesn’t work out for me
HAHAHAAA
hi
Great Article Anmol.
Coming from the west I believe we overlook the sacred act of conception. Many of us are blessed just to make love… but to celebrate life and the universe takes the act even further. Blessings, Nigel.
I loved reading this. My husband and I love tantra a lot. Thank you so much for sharing all of the enlightenment.
Dear Mandaravan,
Thank you for offering your thoughts here on Mastery of Meditation. Two quick points…
1. Articles tend to reflect the writer’s mood and the same topic can be written in a serious, loving, humorous, etc, mood depending on the writer’s state of mind. This article has some humorous aspects that is all.
2. During the ceremony, a loving, respectful approach is needed of course towards one’s wife. Although even at the end, when the man ejaculates, it is suggested that both laugh heartily to produce the exceptional offspring… and we did :-D.
Love & Light,
Anmol
I enjoyed this .. BUT!
Anmol, i am quite surprised there is a small note of denigration toward your wife in this article, your wink implies as though she indeed is not a Goddess worthy of respect and praise!
Yes, i know that your words :
“These mantras are essentially praising the wife (helps to set the mood ;-), ….”
are said as if a joke*… but you also missed an opportunity to state a far more essential point! Which is, that loving praise and glorious acknowledgment of the perfection of the partner, draws down a supremely high energy. It is within the halo of this high loving respect that a cosmic passion bestows along with the child, the ‘extraordinary’ properties you are also wishing for. But the respect and love and even adoration of the Goddess in your female partner (not one ‘winking’ to get her in the right ‘mood’ as though this was about manipulation and not fervent profound love) is at the core.
It is difficult enough for men to truly grasp the nature of the equality of tantra, without someone as wise as you not showing the profound respect that women deserve.
Sorry to not be completely positive.
* (and why was that necessary at all, na?)
Hi Sara,
No moon and full moon are not allowed for conception. Good luck :-).
All Good Wishes,
Anmol