The Right Way to Make a Baby
Tantra Series: Spirituality and Sex
As many of my friends and family members can attest to, I had my parents quite nervous about whether or not I would ever get married and have a family. No one was quite sure when I would run off to the Himalayas and I am sure there was some pretty heavy betting going on, with high odds that I was going to do just that. Well, I am glad I didn’t run off, as there was never any need to and I am glad I decided to get married and make babies :-).
Now, my wife probably lost quite a bit of dough in the betting circles, when I completely floored her by proposing. That is a good story in itself, but, lets move ahead. She knew that I was quite unconcerned with social norms, but, having children out of wedlock just meant a whole mess of legal headaches. So, since we thought children were a good idea, marriage followed next. Now came the fun part. Little did we know what we were in for when we decided to ask, “What is the right way to make babies?”
Given we come from the culture that gave us the Kama Sutra, it was no surprise that the answer to our question arrived directly from ancient Hindu Scriptures, the Vedas. They came in the form of Garbhaadhaan Sanskar, or the Sacrament of Conception, which is part of the Sanskar Vidhi (which outlines the 16 milestones in human life). Being that we are always up for something interesting we decided why not. It involves spirituality, love and sex… can’t go wrong with that… and oh yeah, something about making babies too :-).
I can’t possibly provide the full details of this complex Sacrament in this article, but, I do want to give you a flavor for what it’s like and what it entails in case you and your partner are thinking about having some little ones and also asking the dangerous question, “What is the right way to make babies?”
The main reason for following this ritual is not just to have children, but, to have children that are outstanding. Here are the highlights of this process.
The Garbhaadhaan Sanskar acknowledges the role of both heredity and environment in the creation of a human being. Since the conception has to do with the sperm and the ova, the first step is a process of strengthening and purification. Guys this means no sex or wastage of semen for at least 40 days minimum. Need to get those swimmers in tip top shape and need to build your virility and vitality. In addition, the purification also calls for a pure sattvic diet and relaxed, happy, spiritual life style. So no drinking and excessive late night partying during this time. This goes for the ladies as well in order to prepare her body for a healthy pregnancy.
2. Havan (Prayers):
This was an adventure. On any day we decided to have sex to try to conceive, it is required to do a Yagna (a fire ceremony). The Havan is meant to be done before sunset and it incorporates a series of Shlokas (Mantras or Chants). These mantras are essentially praising the wife (helps to set the mood ;-), saluting natural forces, asking for a healthy pregnancy and requesting a child who would be extraordinary.
Since the last part is the most important let me give some details regarding that. Essentially the Mantras request that the child born should be…
- Live well for a 100 years (which is a favorite Hindu blessing and even part of Indian Happy Birthday Songs).
- Be protected from the heavens, cosmos and earth.
- See God in everything.
- Be able to comprehend the True Nature of Reality.
The Havan had to be done. Now all married couples know that there are days you may not want to sing the praises of your partner, but, if you were planning to make a baby that night, you were chanting, “Oh Lady, your heart is like the Moon in heavens…”, as she was trying her best to hold you in high regard and respect. The other challenge with the required Havan was that there were days when we were racing against the sunset to get it done. I have to confess, that on more than one occasion we did convince ourselves that our abridged version of the ritual was just as effective :-P.
3. When To Have Sex!
Yes the Sacrament guides you on which days to have sex. Moreover, it lays out which days to have sex if you want to conceive a male child and which day to have sex if you want to conceive a female child. The texts do not guarantee this result, but, they do indicate that if adhered to, it gives you a good chance to get what you want. Here are the magic numbers…
Male Child: Days 6, 8, 10, 12, 14 & 16 from commencement of menstruation.
Female Child: Days 5, 7, 9, & 15 from commencement of menstruation.
No other days are good for conception and there are a few black out days as well depending on the phase of the moon.
Now let me tell you guys, sure it sounds great having a guarantee of getting some action on a particular night. After all, we did the Havan and chanted “Oh Lady, your heart is like the Moon in the Heavens…”, but, as the days go on and you get to day 16, after not conceiving during the previous 2 menstrual cycles… sleep seems like an awfully good idea! You tend to lovingly look at each other and say…. Ummm…. Goodnight Sweetheart and… a perfectly good Havan goes wasted.
So we followed all the requirements of this Sanskar trying for a male child and to tell you the truth, I am glad we did. Here is how number 1 turned out. His name is Shivum. Of course he needed company and my wife, Trupti, wanted him to have a brother. So yes it was back to more chanting about her and the Moon… and along came Taran. Here are the results of all that hard work… which we are very, very happy with!
In the next part of this series we will go into the details of Diet and Nutrition for Making a Great Baby.
TRUPTI (TARAN BEFORE :-), SHIVUM & ANMOL