The Time I Met God – Good News & Bad News
Experience with Divinity
There is a room at my parent’s house which is a favorite place to crash for my friends and myself when we have burned too much of the midnight oil. This room used to be the car garage, which my folks have converted to a guest bedroom, to accommodate the endless stream of guests who flow through their house during the summer months. The reason this room is so good to sleep in is because it is pitch dark regardless of whether it is day or night. Having been a garage, the room has no windows and furthermore has a heavy air tight door, so not a ray of light can seep into the room. It is here in this room, with no outside light, that my inner light exploded one fateful night.
I had returned home to participate in a puja (prayer) and since the dark room was available the night before the prayers I happily commandeered it for myself. As had been my practice since my late teen years (and still till today), I lie on my back before sleeping in order to meditate. I can’t sleep on my back and this is my blessing. I can meditate for almost as long as I like in this posture and only very rarely do I drift off to sleep. So as always I was lying there, in the silent, deep darkness, watching my thoughts, when what would be one of the most extraordinary experience I ever had began to unfold.
As I lay there watching intently, a great suffering spontaneously began to emerge deep in my being. The suffering came forth from what seemed like every cell in my body. I did not react to this experience in any way, but simply remained a witness to it. In fact, from this point on all that transpired happened on its own without any willful action on my part. The suffering grew in intensity and poured out from deep within my system. This continued till finally it came to a crescendo and a great release took place as the suffering was expelled from my body in one great push. In this release it felt as if all the suffering in me had been purged and it was like going through a great catharsis, like being reborn anew.
Immediately following this catharsis a great benediction descended on me. There is a Sanskrit word called “dhanya” which is hard to translate, but, correctly captures what took place. The closest translation I can think of would be, “To Be Blessed”, to be touched by the Hand of God. This great blessing, grace, filled my consciousness and I became aware of the presence of the actuality of Divinity.
Whoever invented that word, divine, had experienced what I describe here. It is not like describing chocolate cake, the actuality of Divinity is simply awesomely divine. There are really no adjectives that would capture the magnificence of God and that is probably one reason those that encounter Divinity simply choose to not say anything about it. It is so incredible that trying to convey the magnitude of the experience with language seems like a gross injustice. In any case, with the awareness of the actuality of Divinity, the spontaneous realization in the inherent perfection of everything took place. Everything is absolutely and completely perfect, there was and is never ever a need to do anything ever. Everything is perfectly perfect!
So here is the good new and the bad news from having met God. Bad news first…
Bad News After Meeting God:
The realization that everything is perfect and no effort is needed also brought the realization that every effort, every thought, is a sin. Every effort (desire) makes us blind to the perfection of what is and every willful thought is stained by desire, making it is a sin. Every single thought stained by desire is an indication to God that his creation is incomplete and imperfect. For this absolute perfection to be encountered, every effort has to cease spontaneously. These were not intellectual conclusions I was arriving at, these were simply realizations resulting from being in the presence of blissful Divinity and Truth.
Good News After Meeting God:
The good news is that thankfully, Divinity was forgiving and forgiving and forgiving and I was crying and crying and crying. I have never cried so much and never felt so much bliss, compassion and love being poured onto me. The act of forgiving would not end, the bliss would not end, absolute awe of Divinity would not end and the tears which were just flowing like a river would not end. All was being automatically forgiven.
Conclusion After Meeting God:
I don’t know how long this went on, but, I noticed during this time there was hardly any mind at all. The mind was pushed far away, it had receded somewhere into the far backgrounds of consciousness from where… eventually… the damn thing started to return :-). The problem with mind is that you cannot fight it and win. Fighting with the mind is just more mind. Telling yourself to not have any more desires, is just another desire, another sin. Telling yourself to not make an effort, is indeed more effort, more delusion, more blindness. That is why the trap of Maya (illusion) and “mind projected reality” is so absolute. It is a fantastically designed trap and you shall not escape it easily. The only way to deal with this situation is to laugh about it, else, you will end up psychotic or suicidal. Embrace a sense of humor, it will be invaluable to you to deal with the great cosmic joke that all your suffering is caused by own effort to find happiness.
Finding God, Divinity, Truth is the only real purpose of life. Divinity is infinite love and infinite bliss. If there was one great lesson to learn from this experience, I would say that given he can forgive your billion sins even before you commit them, can’t you forgive others for their few transgressions against you? Forgive, forgive, forgive, let your divine nature start to shine through.
Hello Anmol,
I came across your site yesterday, and have been hooked ever since.
I have been practicing the chakras for the last few yrs. The “divinely/ godly experiences that cannot be expressed in words” and the “mind being pushed away” are all ecstatic feelings I can relate to. The divinely experience happens more often when I meditate on the upper chakras (Heart or Ajna) rather than the lower (Muladhara or Solar Plexus).
I am elated crossing paths with another athma who has experienced the same. Looking forward to learning and continuing on this beautiful journey with good people like you and others on this forum. Thanks for creating a community to share and learn.
Hi Melanie,
Happy to have crossed paths with you on our journey back to Infinity. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us.
Best,
Anmol
Thank you for sharing your experience Anmol. I had one similar under an oak tree at dusk in a golden late summer field. It opened me up in a way that changed me forever and seemed unrelated to everything I had been taught before. I’m so happy to have found your website where my experiences and life attitude are reflected back as experiences that others have too. Nowadays more and more people are coming into my life who have this perspective and it’s lovely to be able to share the experience with others – though I confess, I never felt alone with it, not after that opening up, that experience of expansive awareness and “oneness”
Dear Dajana,
Great to have your presence and input on the blog. All work is really being done by Divinity, and I am sure your aspiration to write will also be fulfilled by him in time.
Love & Light,
Anmol
Hi Andrew,
Very interesting question. The answer lies in the quality of the desire which rise, once all self aggrandizing seeking has ended. Then desire arises to get things done, but it is not soaked with ego-centric ambition.
Another article which tackles exactly this question in a slightly different way is….
Effortless Effort in Zen
Best,
Anmol
Dear Anmol,
I discovered your blog yesterday, when I search meditation how to open third eye. Then I read a bit and seems that… we are on the same vibration. I did not meet God yet, but there are lots of signs. And … so strange and logical in one, what you write here is like I would write. From future perspective.
Please, take my gratefulness because you write this words and make us blessed and in one connected group. Bless you!
love, Dajana
Hello Anmol, hello once again :) i`m reading your articles and cannot stop – they are true! When i`ve read about great cosmic joke i even laughed a bit) But i again have a question – why desire is a sin? For example i will develop myself in the spiritual way and that is conscidered as a sin too? If i will to develop my psychic abilities, learn many things is a spiritual way it`ll be again sin? If so – that is a galactic sized trap, that every action, and even those actions that directed on spiritual development is a sin too? or i mistaken? And another example – i`m a programmer, beginner programmer, i want to create my own site, that is a sin too?
Hi Niranjan,
Glad you are enjoying the website and thank you for your very thoughtful and insightful feedback.
Best,
Anmol
Hello Anmol,
I felt great, after going through few of your articles. Thank you for sharing your experiences.
After I read your view on “everything is perfect and we need not do anything”, I got an answer from my intution and wanted to share with you and others.
I agree with your view of “everything is perfect”. The answer you got is for yourself and not in general. HE has already plans who is going to do what. There are / will be some one else to do some job, which HE has already identified and will be guided at the right time and right manner. Every one is part of his plan and we should not feel guilty / proud of doing something good / bad. If no body does anything, then the world will not function – which is not HIS plan.
Any feedbacks are welcome.
Thanks for your time.
Dear Smita,
Forgive them. All pain in relationship is to show you your attachments and thus, help you learn about the ways of the ego. This though does not mean that all relationships ought to persist. Sometimes the relationship has to dissolve, and life tends to ensure that this happens if it’s necessary.
I am not here advising that you should necessarily break your relationship, but if are going to stay in it, I can’t see there being much peace without forgiveness.
You may want to read the following article for more of my thoughts on this…
True Purpose of Relationships.
All Good Wishes,
Anmol
Hey Anmol,
How are you doing? Its been a month since I discovered something invaluable which I’d say are your thoughts (which I found in this website) : )
But there is something I have been wondering from a long time yet coudnt find the answer to. And that is :
What was the reason God created humans?
Apart from spreading love and joy what exactly do we give to God?
(That is if he made us, then what was the reason behind it)
Waiting for your reply..
Take Care..
Hi Anmol,
Let me begin by saying, thank you for all the wonderful articles.You would never see anyone give so much away for free and I thank you for your generous nature. This is truly a case of practising what you preach.It just displays your integrity.Thank you once again.
This last paragraph in the article talks about forgiving others.What if you are aware that forgiving these people will only lead to them taking advantage of you and cheating you again and again.Should u then forgive.Didn’t GOD say that to be unjust and bear injustice, both are wrong.
Your thoughts on this?
Best Regards,
Smita
Some resemblence to the following…
:)
Hey Davidya,
Thank you very much for sharing your insights and feedback.
If I may ask a personal question, have you encountered the actuality of Divinity – God?
I believe when you do in this manner, “sin” is exactly what seeking based effort is perceived, understood and realized as, not as part of the perfection of “what is” (I am intimately familiar with what you are indicating there as well).
If you would like to discuss further I would be happy to.
Great to have your presence and energy here on Mastery of Meditation.
All Good Wishes,
Anmol
Anmol – beautiful experience. Thank you for sharing it. To happiness, I would also add Gratitude. Its amazing what heartfelt gratitude will heal and open.
If I may be so bold, I can suggest there is another value to come. You spoke of experiencing everything as being perfect, then of individual impulse as being sin. When there is a shift from experiencing it to being it, you will find that the ‘sin’ is within the perfection as well. Even the sin is perfect. There is no mistake. There are no obstacles. There is only our perception of what is.
Rod – you stood at what one might call a doorway to a Loka or world. Fear can arise from something new, but it also can arise from something unpleasant. Pay attention to how you feel and why. Not everywhere you can travel is a place you want to go. But if you do happen to go there, you are always safe, no matter what happens. Favour the places of light, not the basement. ;-)
Hey Doer,
Sorry for not getting to your questions earlier and am really glad you got the answers from other articles here. I know I got to one of your comments, and this one was also on my ever growing todo list :-P.
It’s great to hear you are enjoying the other articles on the website as well.
Thanks a lot for all your participation and feedback also :-D.
Best,
Anmol
Anmol, thanks a lot . I got my answers.
Your site has got many other fantastic articles, also.
Thanks for those too.
With gratitude,
doer